I recently attended a medical conference in Norther Idaho. Those that organized the conference invited a guest speaker to come. The speaker was Chad Hymas. He was a remarkable speaker and had the entire audience, a room full of physicians and their spouses, in the palm of his hand. At one point, he asked two of the physicians to step up to volunteer. They were both leaders in their field. He asked each of them to get a bottle of water and to take a drink. He then asked them to do the same but without using their hands. Of course they got down on their knees and twisted off the cap with their teeth, spit out the cap and had a drink. It was hard to watch them go through the process. After they were done we were all chastised by the speaker. You see, he is a quadriplegic and his only rule was to get drink without using his hands. He did not say no one else in the audience could not help them but when none of us got up he chastised us for not giving them a drink. His theme of his talk was that it is not about me, it is about them. Putting others needs before ours. It was an awesome talk. I loved it. It reminded me of someone, my mother.
My mother, for whom this blog is dedicated, has always put others needs in front of her own. After successfully obtaining her nursing degree, she spent 30-40 years raising her children out of the home. She was always there at the crossroads for each of us. She has, however, used her nursing skills to help so many people throughout the various neighborhoods in which she lived. She has helped them physically when they have been ill, spiritually when down and mentally when discouraged. I can remember going with her on one of these trips. Our neighbors grandmother was very ill and she called us during the middle of the day. She could barely put her words together. My mom dropped all she was doing and jumped in the car. I went with her having just finished my first year of medical school. We found this woman completely delirious with a very high blood pressure. My mom called 911 and paramedics arrived quickly. She gave them a report and they took over. When we were leaving one of them stopped my mom and asked, "Excuse me, but haven't I seen you before?" My mother denied not recognizing the man. But then he remembered and just one week prior she had responded before them to another call within the neighborhood prior the paramedics. I guess people had Mom dialed in speed dial in the number one spot followed by 911 in the number 2 spot.
My mom has always been willing to talk to you and to cheer you up. She knows those around her so well that she can always sustain an interesting conversation with them and make them laugh. She has the right thing to say to connect with others especially the youth. She helped so many youth stay strong the gospel during their vulnerable adolescent years. Mom was there for them and put their needs in front of her own. Another story that stands out is when she would teach early morning seminary she would have to arrive at the building at 6 am to open it up. On someone's birthday, she would buy everyone doughnuts and have to leave even earlier to pick up the doughnuts. Some of the students had particular flavors they liked and she would special order these. One particular morning, my mom approached the building, still dark and a drunk man approached her with a knife. He threatened her. My mom was terrified but she also recognized him from the neighborhood. She called him by name and told him to turn over the knife and go home. The man did just that mainly because he was stunned that she knew him and then she quickly locked herself in the building and called the authorities so that the students who would be coming would be safe. She then proceeded to teach that morning as if nothing had ever happened. My mother was so brave and once again putting the needs even when her life was threatened, before her own needs.
Mom thank you for that great example all my life including now. You continue to put others before yourself and we all benefit. Love Borks
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Mom is turning 42!
A few months ago, I started a blog on behalf of my father and today as we approach June 6th, I dedicate this site to my mother. Okay she is not really turning 42, but that's what she always used to say. For some reason, mom did not age from around the time she gave birth to me to now. She had me fooled.
Why this particular background for the blog? If you know my mother, you know that every year she has completed a NCAA bracket. She can talk basketball with the best of them and is clearly a march madness mother. I felt the bracket background along with the basketball was fitting, at least initially. Not to mention, that my mom has attended approximately 931 basketball games between myself and my siblings high school and college careers. This does not count for MJ's NBA career nor does it account for all the football, soccer, baseball, volleyball games and violin recitals. All in all I suspect the number is more between 5-10 thousand sporting and musical events. Mom has always been our biggest fan. She would express her approval with a fierce flexion at the elbow, pulled in abruptly to her side with a closed fist. When she would do this action and shout "YES!" We knew we met her approval. In recitals, it was different, the congratulations would always come first with a smile, grab of both sides of the head and a big kiss. Mom earned the right to be the biggest fan. She was there through the training. She was there half-way between "Hell's week" football practices with a carb filled lunch and large Gatorade. She was there to nurse the injuries. She was there to encourage the downtrodden. She was there pushing the piano over and over again. She was there in all of our times of need.
Why the title? Mama Jefe was her real name. Now, some might know that the correct gender assignment of this spanish name is Mama Jefa. But she referred to herself as Mama Jefe and it stuck. She is the biological mother of 5 children. However, there are countless people who refer to her as their mother or second mother. My friends growing up would come to the house many times just to talk basketball or life with Mom. I would come home from school and sometimes find classmates visiting with mom. They loved her. She knew how to talk to teenagers. She knew there interests, families and difficulties. She comforted them and educated them. If I were to play ball with friends they always elected to come to my house to play not because I lived on a cul de sac where the ball would not get lost or threatened by traffic, nor because the hoop could lower and raise in a time when such a hoop was scarce. They came because Mama Jefe would make them fresh pizza and drinks and take care of them as if they were her own. She would greet them with a hug, call them by name and tell them things like, "Hey, Dylan, that was great shootin' last night" or "Lydell, nice game!" My friends loved that and loved her. She was also Mama Jefe because I never wanted to displease her. She was the boss of the house and because of who she was and the righteous, respected life she lived we wanted to do what she said.
Why the blog? People have got to know this woman. I have to share with the world how amazing she is. The world needs to know the life that she has lived. I hope it is not only perspective that is shared but many because I know that mine is not the only life she has touched. I will take this opportunity to share a few such experiences. As I mentioned above, my mom's birthday is June 6th. I have a confession to make regarding my ability to remember her birthday. I know I should remember it because it belongs to her but I actually remember it because she made me feel growing up that it belonged to me. On June 6th, just about every year, we would have a blast day. I had the privilege of having her to myself as there was an almost 10 year gap between me and my other four siblings, so it is possible they did not experience this day like I did, but I don't really care. A blast day consisted of getting out of school for "Important Family Business" and going to Disneyland just me and her. We would hop in the car, drive down near the elementary school and my mom would ask me to duck as we drove by. As we neared the amusement park, she would have me search for the Matterhorn Mountain. In the park the day would start off by riding Thunder Mountain over and over and over again. Then we would get an Apple Fritter over by the New Orleans Train Depot, ride Pirate's of the Caribbean and then Thunder Mountain over and over again. This would be followed by running in and out of the caves at Tom Sawyer island and then Thunder Mountain again. We would end the day with an ice cream on Main Street and walk out hand in hand having made another sweet memory. I don't know the year, I finally realized, I did not have two birthday's. My mom always made me a priority. She sacrificed so much in her life to be available to assist me in my interests. She could have easily pursued a career in nursing and we probably could have enjoyed a few extra dollars but she chose to be at the crossroads of my life and I owe her so much for that.
Mom, happy birthday. I plan on writing my heart out to help you realize what an amazing person you are the grand life you have lived. Thank you and happy birthday with love, Borks
Why this particular background for the blog? If you know my mother, you know that every year she has completed a NCAA bracket. She can talk basketball with the best of them and is clearly a march madness mother. I felt the bracket background along with the basketball was fitting, at least initially. Not to mention, that my mom has attended approximately 931 basketball games between myself and my siblings high school and college careers. This does not count for MJ's NBA career nor does it account for all the football, soccer, baseball, volleyball games and violin recitals. All in all I suspect the number is more between 5-10 thousand sporting and musical events. Mom has always been our biggest fan. She would express her approval with a fierce flexion at the elbow, pulled in abruptly to her side with a closed fist. When she would do this action and shout "YES!" We knew we met her approval. In recitals, it was different, the congratulations would always come first with a smile, grab of both sides of the head and a big kiss. Mom earned the right to be the biggest fan. She was there through the training. She was there half-way between "Hell's week" football practices with a carb filled lunch and large Gatorade. She was there to nurse the injuries. She was there to encourage the downtrodden. She was there pushing the piano over and over again. She was there in all of our times of need.
Why the title? Mama Jefe was her real name. Now, some might know that the correct gender assignment of this spanish name is Mama Jefa. But she referred to herself as Mama Jefe and it stuck. She is the biological mother of 5 children. However, there are countless people who refer to her as their mother or second mother. My friends growing up would come to the house many times just to talk basketball or life with Mom. I would come home from school and sometimes find classmates visiting with mom. They loved her. She knew how to talk to teenagers. She knew there interests, families and difficulties. She comforted them and educated them. If I were to play ball with friends they always elected to come to my house to play not because I lived on a cul de sac where the ball would not get lost or threatened by traffic, nor because the hoop could lower and raise in a time when such a hoop was scarce. They came because Mama Jefe would make them fresh pizza and drinks and take care of them as if they were her own. She would greet them with a hug, call them by name and tell them things like, "Hey, Dylan, that was great shootin' last night" or "Lydell, nice game!" My friends loved that and loved her. She was also Mama Jefe because I never wanted to displease her. She was the boss of the house and because of who she was and the righteous, respected life she lived we wanted to do what she said.
Why the blog? People have got to know this woman. I have to share with the world how amazing she is. The world needs to know the life that she has lived. I hope it is not only perspective that is shared but many because I know that mine is not the only life she has touched. I will take this opportunity to share a few such experiences. As I mentioned above, my mom's birthday is June 6th. I have a confession to make regarding my ability to remember her birthday. I know I should remember it because it belongs to her but I actually remember it because she made me feel growing up that it belonged to me. On June 6th, just about every year, we would have a blast day. I had the privilege of having her to myself as there was an almost 10 year gap between me and my other four siblings, so it is possible they did not experience this day like I did, but I don't really care. A blast day consisted of getting out of school for "Important Family Business" and going to Disneyland just me and her. We would hop in the car, drive down near the elementary school and my mom would ask me to duck as we drove by. As we neared the amusement park, she would have me search for the Matterhorn Mountain. In the park the day would start off by riding Thunder Mountain over and over and over again. Then we would get an Apple Fritter over by the New Orleans Train Depot, ride Pirate's of the Caribbean and then Thunder Mountain over and over again. This would be followed by running in and out of the caves at Tom Sawyer island and then Thunder Mountain again. We would end the day with an ice cream on Main Street and walk out hand in hand having made another sweet memory. I don't know the year, I finally realized, I did not have two birthday's. My mom always made me a priority. She sacrificed so much in her life to be available to assist me in my interests. She could have easily pursued a career in nursing and we probably could have enjoyed a few extra dollars but she chose to be at the crossroads of my life and I owe her so much for that.
Mom, happy birthday. I plan on writing my heart out to help you realize what an amazing person you are the grand life you have lived. Thank you and happy birthday with love, Borks
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